A Dim Capacity For Wings
by eden alice
Summary: "That's the only present I could ever want." Liam and Carla at Christmas.


This was written as a Christmas present for a friend who told me what she wanted in a story. It most likely needs editing but I just want to post it before Christmas is completly over.

A Dim Capacity for Wings

"I think this might be all the evil, pain and anguish of the entire world channelled and expressed in the form of song." Carla stood drink in hand with Tony, Michelle, Liam and Maria while they watched Kelly murder a classic ballad beyond distinction.

"She's trying to sing?" Michelle sounded surprised. A look of disgusted fascination was written all over her face as she leaned over the bar.

"It does sound like my nightmares." Liam casually observed while slipping his pint. Maria hit his arm but her attempt to scold her husband was lost as a bubble of laughter escaped her lips and the gesture became more annoying than anything else.

Tony seemed to pick the exact same moment to pull Carla closer and place an affectionate kiss on top of her head. The pair missed the way Liam's eyes locked with Carla's and a silent communication passed between the pair. In the electricity that passed between them was the question; how long could they carry on this charade? She had always been a good actor but Carla could not help that someone would see through the perfect couple act. She felt drawn to warmth of Liam every time she was in his presence and the way his breath stilled in his chest when he hugged her hello told her that he felt the same.

"Tell me there is a way I can fire her for putting my ears through this hell." Carla demanded looking away from Liam before she could say or do something that would change everything forever. Out of the corner of her eye she could not miss the way Liam tried to stand apart from his wife even as she attempted to drape herself over him.

"I don't think it would hold up in court, sorry. The strangest thing is that she spends most of her working hours singing and wasting time yet I don't think I've ever heard her sound so awful." Tony cringed at a particularly high off note but his attention was focused on his ringing blackberry. He quickly excused himself and headed into the quiet outside the pub to take the call.

Michelle laughed at all of them. "Well I suppose I could show you all how it's done."

"Carla could show Kelly how it is done and we both know she is completely tone deaf." Liam prompted and Michelle snorted as she laughed harder at a shared memory.

"Shut it you two. It was a very long time ago and Cher is hard to sing." Carla defended herself feeling mildly embarrassed.

"Yeah and you were so pissed you could barely stand up." Liam shot back.

"Well at least I don't subject the world to my terrible singing on an almost daily basis like you do Leebugs. Now that's just cruel."

Liam looked offended, "I'm a great singer."

"No your not."

"Yes I am."

"Children," Michelle scolded perhaps sensing the growing tension from Maria, "Honestly Ryan is more mature than you two."

The group focused their attention back to the makeshift stage as Kelly grinned happily at the applause coming from her co-workers. Not so long ago Maria would be ready to claw Carla's eyes out for playfully bickering with her husband over some old memory, but after their heart to heart at Carla's hen party Maria had been more secure and tolerant towards her rival. However it was clear by the way the smaller woman held herself that she was uncomfortable with her husbands shared history with his sister-in-law, like she couldn't stop the swell of panic she felt every time she saw the pair interacting.

"Wait a second, isn't this karaoke thing meant to be a present for Amy? Why are the general masses playing with it?" Carla asked generally curious as Kelly handed the pink, glittery microphone over to an eager Graeme.

"Yes its Amy's but she's over at Ken and Deidre's for a few hours and I thought it would be fun to have some festive karaoke." Michelle explained.

Carla could not help but think that Amy never seemed to talk so she did not think the little girl would really be into singing. And whatever Graeme was currently doing it was not quiet singing and it was most defiantly not festive. She wisely chose to keep those thoughts to herself.

Tony strolled back into the pub tucking his phone into his jackets pocket; he looked at Carla with an apologetic expression. "I'm so sorry darling. That was the contractors in America. Apparently there is an opening that I can take advantage of if I get in first. I hate to leave you on Christmas day but this could be a multi million deal. I'll only be gone a few hours and I promise I'll make it up to you." Carla felt a little guilty when she had no reaction to Tony leaving besides slight annoyance. She took comfort in the fact that she would not be living a lie much longer. While she may not be planning to run into the sunset with Liam she knew she could not carry on living a double life.

"If it is really that big don't worry. My only requirement is that the multi millions is spent on me." It was easy for her to play the part. The man she planned to marry did not know her enough to guess that she was not that shallow. Once upon a time that used to be a comfort.

"Don't worry Tony, we will look after madam. There is going to be plenty of food to go around, anyone would think Liz was expecting the whole city." Michelle called as she headed behind the bar to actually do some work.

Tony's smile in reply was charming, "Well I'm sure Liz's food will be wonderful. I'll cancel the restaurant reservation, I'm sure there is someone else on their waiting list to take our place." He leaned down and pulled Carla to him and kissed her deeply.

"I'll see you later love." Tony said, nodding his goodbye to Liam and Maria.

Carla was distracted with her own thoughts when she pushed her hair behind one ear so she was surprised by the squeal that came from Rosie. She had not even noticed that the young girl was even standing near her.

"Oh my god, they are massive! They must have cost a fortune, I am like, so jealous."

Carla stared at Rosie for a second before she realised the girl had caught sight on her new diamond and who knew whatever other shiny stuff incrusted earrings.

"They are very nice, a bit too dramatic for my taste but nice." Maria added her smile seemed a little too tight.

"Are they something Santa got you?" Liam asked. His eyebrow rose and his blue eyes darkened in a way that made Carla whish she'd never worn the damn earrings. It was like Tony was using a day for giving to advertise his wealth. He had taken it upon himself to buy presents for Michelle, Ryan, Liam and Maria. All were over priced and flashy. She was upset that she had not been able to pick Liam's present personally. The football tickets were appropriate but they did not feel like a personal enough gift.

"Only if Santa is Scottish, Tony gave them to me this morning."

"Well you are so lucky! I can't wait to find a rich, handsome man to spend ridiculous amounts of money on me." Rosie's crush on Tony's money was sweet in a nauseating funny way. Before anyone could reply she trotted away on giant heels.

"Oh that reminds me to go get the presents from ours babe." Maria exclaimed. "I was going to go round Gail's and see Sarah-Lou so we can get them on the way back."

"Girly catch-up can't wait." Truly Liam could not think of much more tedious than listening to Maria gossip with another woman who could quiet possibly be her clone.

"And you're so grumpy when you're bored." Maria pouted. "Well I guess you could pop back home and get the presents and I'll meet you back here before we head home." She winked at Liam suggestively but did not seem to notice his lack of reaction.

"Sounds like a plan if it gives me time for a couple more pints." Liam grinned before finishing the last of his drink."

"Liam!" Maria's tone was shrill and made Carla cringe even more than all the bad singing. "You promised me you wouldn't drink too much. Don't want you to get a beer belly before I get a chance to show you off to Sarah!"

"Course not babe." Liam replied through a tight smile.

"I'm sure me and 'Chelle can look after him for ya love." Carla could not resist one dig even if she included his sister to make it less blatant.

"I'm sure you will." Maria answered, doing an almost convincing faked sweet tone. "Oh, it's a bit awkward with you being here but we haven't got you anything for Christmas. With a new business and everything money is a bit tight so we've only bought for family." Her smile was like syrup.

Carla carefully kept her face blank even if she wanted to punch the smug expression of the other woman's face, an expression she was sure no one else noticed. She would not give Maria the satisfaction by reacting; instead she focused on Liam, who was looking back at her with the expression of a sad puppy. He hugged Maria uneasily before she left all the while staring at Carla over her shoulder.

There was a moment of comfortable silence as Carla rolled the stem of her empty wine glass between her hands.

"All alone." Liam said under his breath, eyes on the floor.

"It is awfully brave of Maria. Or does she trust me not to jump you in crowded pub now?" She wasn't really angry at Liam. She knew how he felt with a simple glance, but she still wanted some kind of apology from him. The Connor's would always be her family.

"Well maybe it's me she shouldn't trust." Even now Liam could still surprise her. Every time she started to think of him as reliable old Liam he did or said something that felt more heart warming than any grand gesture.

He finally glanced at her, eyes so blue they took her breath away. With his gaze on her she could not stop herself melting, it was slowly becoming more and more impossible to hide her feelings for him. Than night when she'd left her own hen party to break his heart felt like so long ago she struggled to cling to her justification for the lies. She had to look away.

"Maybe we are all lucky that Steve was either too cheap or too lazy to hang any mistletoe this year." She looked away breaking the spell before she could unwillingly confess her undying love.

Liam's laugh felt like home. "Why don't you sneak back to mine with me? We could say I needed a hand."

"Liam Connor if you think that I need your pity of all people you have another thing coming." Carla raised a sceptical eyebrow and placed her hands on her hips. Along time ago she promised herself she would never depend on anyone.

He wanted to tell her that he could never pity her, that her strength and beauty were a constant strength of wonder in his life. He could never find the right words. "Don't be stupid."

"So I'm stupid now." She shot back.

"You are if you carry on like this. I just want the chance to spend time with you." She still looked sceptical so he added "Please."

She pouted, "Say pretty please."

Frustrated he rolled his eyes at her stubbornness. "Pretty please with a cherry on top and multi coloured sprinkles, now let's move."

She looked like she was going to say something else before she smiled and shook her head and strolled away not bothering to check that he was following. He always followed her.

Outside the wind was unforgiving and chilled; Liam pulled his jacket tighter around him absently wishing he had another layer. The entire world seemed to have turned a shade of murky grey, Christmas lights twinkled even brighter in the dim. He hurried to catch up with Carla almost falling embarrassingly on a patch of semi-invisible ice.

Carla caught him round his waist and pulled him back to a standing position. Once he was back on his own two feet she let out a crackle of laughter. "Very graceful Leebugs."

"Oi, don't be cheeky. How is it I can't walk on this bloody snow yet Balance and Norris have yet to fall and break a hip?" He grumbled playfully.

"This is not snow."

"What is it then genius?" Liam asked as she kicked a boot clad foot into the player of off-white covering the ground.

"Its just slush, it stopped being snow two days ago so it doesn't count."

"Thank god for that." Liam pretended not to notice the way her arm was still around his waist.

"Why?" She looked up at him an adorable questioning expression on her face.

"Because snow on Christmas day would be such a cliché that I'd be worried you'll roll your eyes so hard they would get stuck in your head."

"Very funny." Carla pushed him away as they reached his front door, sticking her tongue out at him while he tried not to slide.

By the time they both fell through the door they were giggling like a couple of school children.

"You want a cup of tea or something stronger?" Liam asked taking her coat from her hands and chucking it over the arm of a chair.

"Are you Santa or something? Thought we were just popping in and picking up a few gifts, how long does that take." Carla leaned her hip against the wall, arms crossed against her chest trying to feel like a stranger in his home.

Liam disappeared into the kitchen and she could hear the rustle of bags. He reappeared with an almost nervous expression that made him look so delectably young. There was a small brown paper bag in his hands and he looked like he was considering hiding it behind his back.

"I wanted to give you this. Its little and silly and I am sorry I didn't wrap it. I just… just wanted you to know that you will always be family to me."

He sheepishly handed her the bag and bit his lip as he waited for her reaction. For a long moment she just watched him, the way he waited for her approval, then she pulled two small objects out from the crumpled bag.

Two little plastic figures looked up at her, their oversized heads bobbling on springs. It took her a double take to realise the little dolls seemed to be cartoon versions of Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor.

"Sorry about Maria, she's just nervous around you. She has every reason to be nervous I guess. I just saw these in a random petrol station. They are crappy I know but they seemed appropriate. I meant everything I said that night Carla." She had never heard him trip over his words so much. She read nothing but honesty in the clean lines of his face. "Merry Christmas."

She did not know what to say, she wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. Not so long ago she had looked this man in the eye and told him she did not love him. That night she had been devastated, she had slept next to Tony feeling like her last chance of happiness was slipping through her fingers.

Once in a while he said something that made everything right in the world. She did not need expensive gifts. Liam understood her and two little lumps of plastic meant there still was a chance.

But Liam did not walk away from her completely. They never spoke about that night but had silently found their way gradually getting closer again. He knew she had lied, she saw it in the accusation in his eyes, once he found out that she was the one to send Maria to tell him about the baby. There was a loaded bomb between them and for now they chose to ignore it, it was not time yet.

Carla reached out and squeezed Liam's hand the warm strength of his hand making her want to never let go. "Its perfect thank you."

He squeezed her hand in response, thumb stroking back and forth over her knuckles. He's wide smile burned with obvious happiness that he had done the right thing.

"But I haven't got anything for you." Her eyes glistened with tears, she did not feel sad and she had no idea why she was almost crying. Of course she'd already given Liam a joint present with Tony but she wanted to share something that meant something with him. She wanted to apologise for all the pain and confusion that had got in the way of them.

"Doesn't matter. I'd be lying if I said there was any present that I wanted…there's only you. Come on we better head back." He was still grinning at her, all tender and handsome and she beyond glad that she could never make him stop loving her. It might not happen on a cold Christmas day but soon they would be together properly, she was sure of it.

"Liam wait… that night I told you I didn't love you. I lied, I'm sorry I thought it was for the best. I was wrong I only ever wanted you too" She acknowledged the elephant in the room and was surprised at how much lighter she felt.

There was no anger in Liam's eyes, only understanding as he pulled her into a tight hug. "That's the only present I could ever want."


End file.
